The first thing I thought of was ‘Sweetest Day’ which is the epitome of a bullshit Hallmark holiday. It’s in October. I don’t have a story, but my Grandma would always get me a Sweetest Day card and chocolates and stuff… and I always thought it was really tacky.
My Mom always coached me with my Grandma. It was her mom. And she would tell me what to get [her] for the holidays. And for Sweetest Day, my mom was like, “Just… don’t… don’t even worry about it…”
The one gift I remember giving my Grandma that my mom told me to get her, was… I’m not sure how I felt about it… Growing up when I was little, my Grandma had a toy poodle named Buffy. It was a male dog, but it was named Buffy and she always had it groomed in that bullshit poodle way and always had its nails painted… My Grandma was a tacky person… And the dog was insane. It was yippy in the way little dogs are but it would always sit there and lick the air…
And it freaked me out. Then the dog died a natural death at the age of fifteen. And the next year, for my Grandma’s birthday, my mom came home one day and my mom was like, “Just give her this.” And there was a stuffed animal that looked exactly like the dog, and I was just like… “Whaaat?”
I was fourteen at the time and I was just beginning to learn what ‘fucked-up’ really is. So I didn’t want to give it to her! And my mom asked if I had a better thing, and I was like, “No, I don’t.” So I gave her this stuffed animal dog and she fucking loved it and it was on her nightstand for the rest of her life.