I have a special power when it comes to fucking computers up. I'm not a Luddite, but I'm not good with computers and every job I've had there's always been an IT guy who's been like, "What did you do?" And I'm like, "I swear, I didn't do anything!" This is how it is.
So, when I got my job at Weiden & Kennedy, which will now be 14 years ago, I got my laptop... and I had been at a party with a bunch of my friends, where... Oh, what's the word... it's so gross! What's the word for that Japanese sex act where a bunch of guys cum on a woman's face? It's really gross...
So, they’re saying that word, and they’re joking about it, and I was pretending I knew what it was, but I didn’t. So the next day, I go to work and I look it up on my new computer at my new job… Yeah. Yeah!
So the computer freezes. And I unplug it. I turn everything off.
I do all the shit that you do. And I finally had to… this is how I made friends with the IT guy… who was a big, really really handsome black guy, bald head, and he just has this, you know, way about him. And I was like, “Eve, I need a little help. Before we get there, I want to explain to you why my computer says what it says.”
I worked there for nine years and for nine years he would assume the same position when I told him a story, which was "Uh-huh."
So, that’s my hacker story and I still fuck up my computers in ways I don’t know but I don’t have to look up what bukkake is again because I know! B-U-K-K-A-K-E in case you want to know.